"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
BRING THE BAGELS
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
