She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
