we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Randomize
