This is not my ceiling
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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