real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
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