i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
