Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Randomize
