I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
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