He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Randomize
