you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Randomize
