she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
