It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
