What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
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