I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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