Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
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