It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
