So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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