Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
