Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Randomize
