I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
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