its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
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