Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Randomize