No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Randomize