batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
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