only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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