So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
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