he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize