Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
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