Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
i need some magic done to my vagina
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
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