girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
time to smoke my breakfast
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
