He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Randomize
