your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
