I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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