you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Randomize
