I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize