I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
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He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
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He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.