I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
25 Porn Addicts Admit Their Biggest Pet Peeves
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."