Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(512): View more from Texas

you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator

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(512): you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator http://tfl.nu/ic52

Replies (17) Good night (7835) Bad night (745)
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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on

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(412): i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on http://tfl.nu/87g6

Replies (38) Good night (6156) Bad night (1188)
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(615): View more from Tennessee

You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.

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(615): You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove. http://tfl.nu/nj9j

Replies (42) Good night (5896) Bad night (940)
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(530): View more from California

the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.

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(530): the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been. http://tfl.nu/so6l

Replies (8) Good night (945) Bad night (3209)
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(619): View more from California

Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.

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(619): Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this. http://tfl.nu/9259

Replies (13) Good night (1860) Bad night (1427)
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(603): View more from New Hampshire

Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day

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(603): Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day http://tfl.nu/sq9b

Replies (15) Good night (807) Bad night (1659)
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(516): View more from New York

My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery

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(516): My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery http://tfl.nu/njc1

Replies (8) Good night (1555) Bad night (716)
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(707): View more from California

At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.

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(707): At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon. http://tfl.nu/h8sp

Replies (3) Good night (1271) Bad night (1378)
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(206): View more from Washington

Gong!

(1-253): View more from Washington

YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT

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(206): Gong! (1-253): YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT http://tfl.nu/dcri

Replies (17) Good night (4499) Bad night (845)
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(701): View more from North Dakota

Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.

(1-701): View more from North Dakota

Jesus, are you hammered?

(701): View more from North Dakota

Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.

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(701): Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus. (1-701): Jesus, are you hammered? (701): Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws. http://tfl.nu/johl

Replies (26) Good night (4161) Bad night (1025)
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(702): View more from Nevada

Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.

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(702): Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom. http://tfl.nu/ihoh

Replies (25) Good night (3350) Bad night (719)
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(401): View more from Rhode Island

He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..

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(401): He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together.. http://tfl.nu/x2kk

Replies (3) Good night (1847) Bad night (856)
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(205): View more from Alabama

The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.

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(205): The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans. http://tfl.nu/5jwr

Replies (1) Good night (306) Bad night (547)
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(440): View more from Ohio

Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago

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(440): Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago http://tfl.nu/7mtt

Replies (0) Good night (499) Bad night (493)
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(731): View more from Tennessee

I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...

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(731): I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples... http://tfl.nu/2rg4

Replies (1) Good night (645) Bad night (249)

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