I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
10+ Incredible Tumblr Stories That Will Leave You Shook
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
16 People Who Have Raised The Bar For Petty Revenge
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...