I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize