Texts From Last Night

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  (716): View more from New York

  I can text with my tongue

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  (716): I can text with my tongue http://tfl.nu/gbw1
  Replies (23) Good night (3389) Bad night (754)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome

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  (610): the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome http://tfl.nu/8iag
  Replies (4) Good night (1683) Bad night (658)
• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  ugly people sure do ruin things

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  (214): ugly people sure do ruin things http://tfl.nu/4ggc
  Replies (33) Good night (1193) Bad night (3375)
• Favorite

  (760): View more from California

  I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night

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  (760): I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night http://tfl.nu/kc6c
  Replies (14) Good night (4121) Bad night (721)
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  (650): View more from California

  you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"

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  (650): you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?" http://tfl.nu/9xhm
  Replies (4) Good night (2814) Bad night (1118)
• Favorite

  (818): View more from California

  They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...

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  (818): They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps... http://tfl.nu/7lmv
  Replies (15) Good night (2658) Bad night (4426)
• Favorite

  (256): View more from Alabama

  Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?

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  (256): Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!? http://tfl.nu/t31p
  Replies (13) Good night (1419) Bad night (2517)
• Favorite

  (910): View more from North Carolina

  he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it

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  (910): he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it http://tfl.nu/qxjz
  Replies (13) Good night (3981) Bad night (1412)
• Favorite

  (213): View more from California

  I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus

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  (213): I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus http://tfl.nu/i6gi
  Replies (5) Good night (947) Bad night (1868)
• Favorite

  (903): View more from Texas

  Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up

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  (903): Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up http://tfl.nu/zu39
  Replies (5) Good night (1274) Bad night (591)
• Favorite

  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.

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  (918): Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want. http://tfl.nu/d7n8
  Replies (4) Good night (1608) Bad night (565)
• Favorite

  (714): View more from California

  What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.

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  (714): What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work. http://tfl.nu/so92
  Replies (7) Good night (1366) Bad night (720)
• Favorite

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...

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  (612): We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game... http://tfl.nu/bxkh
  Replies (2) Good night (582) Bad night (340)
• Favorite

  (804): View more from Virginia

  The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.

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  (804): The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out. http://tfl.nu/4grr
  Replies (5) Good night (516) Bad night (415)
• Favorite

  (305): View more from Florida

  Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?

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  (305): Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it? http://tfl.nu/7lec
  Replies (2) Good night (415) Bad night (390)

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