i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
