True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
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