If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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