id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
