I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
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I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
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I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
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