I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I DEMAND FORESKIN
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