that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
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