Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
I will die if light touches me.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
