Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize