i barfeds in our rink
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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