so that wasnt chicken after all
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
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