You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
pop tarts are not kleenex
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
My feet surprised me
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
