Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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