Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
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