they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Randomize
