after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Terrible idea I love it
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Randomize
