I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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