great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
