yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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