google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I need to sanitize my soul.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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